"i'll have the mcdeal and...uh, some cash."

you may have heard of a tv show called "world's dumbest criminals", how about "world's laziest criminals"? now, i know that crime isn't exactly pulled off by hard working individuals, but i heard something recently that was more ridiculous than anything i'd heard before.

this guy pulls up to a mcdonald's drive-thru window, points a gun at the clerk and demands money. is this what criminals have sunk to? i mean, this is lazy, really really lazy. yeah, yeah, sure, there's the convenience of already being in the get-away car, but there's no excuse for being this lazy.

what, you were on the couch at home and wondered if there was a way to still sit on your ass and make money?! if you're gonna threaten someone's life and possibly put them in a position whereby they will have to change their pants after visiting with you, at least meet them half-way and get out of the damn car! "hey...uh, i don't want to get up or anything, but you may die if i don't get some cash."

jackass, this is the easiest money most people would ever make, at least get up to do it!
(note: the previous entire rant may be based on false pretenses. criminal may not actually have been driving. still, the world's most convenient way to get food is a stupid place to commit crime...put some thought into it next time).

bad...uh, parkers

okay, so i couldn't come up with a clever little title for this rant. maybe i'm just too mad. bad (read: self-centered) parkers piss me off more than most things. you know the type, "there's only a few spots left here so i think i'll park in the middle of two spots."

usually, bad parkers drive one of 2 types of vehicles: sports cars or big trucks (often half-tons). why is it necessary for these people to make sure that the next guy gets the royal screw job?! it often happens at the movie theater on busy nights or at other places/events when parking would already normally be scarce as it is.

and why the hell doesn't parking lot "security" do something? it's clear they're just there so certain property holders get a break on their insurance, but they could do something as long as they're there. i'm not even sure how these people can do it without thinking "hey...maybe...maybe someone would like to park in the gigantic empty space that i'm hording." of course, some are more flagrant about it than others (parking diagonally when the parking lot is clearly designed to park), but an offense is an offense.

unfortunately, some of the worst parking is at church on a sunday. for some reason, a lot of christians, though they have strong convictions about many things, don't think it's important to show consideration for other people who would like to park closer to the church in -50 degree conditions.

if you're one of those causing the problem, please, the next time you decide it might be fun to park diagonally when everyone else is parked another way, try to realize that a decent human being may not do what you're considering.

the moore the merrier

ok. granted, this isn't a rant. but i just read something that made me chuckle and had to share. apparently, as predicted, american conservatives are doing their "counter-point" against michael moore's efforts in "fahrenheit". good for them, i say.

a recent film festival held in (surprise!) texas, hosted screenings of several pro-republican films. the biggest draw? a movie called "michael moore hates america". well, no one predicted that the conservatives' come-back would be intelligent-sounding or mature. it's not a bad title, actually...but perhaps one better would have been "i know you are, but what am i". hopefully the body of the movie is more thoughtful.

musical minds

i've been thinking, lately, about people who say they're "open minded" when it comes to music. you know how it goes...someone says to someone else "what kind of music do you like?" then the person being asked says "oh, i'm pretty open minded when it comes to music. everything but...", then the person proceeds to say exactly what kind of music they hate and sometimes even why they hate it.

hey, don't kid yourself. you know you've said it...hell, i've even said it a few times. but is that really open minded?! if you say you like "all music" and then insert an "except for", you don't really like all music, do you?

for instance, i like a lot of music, but i hate that new country (basically everything after 1970 that's not johnny cash) and i can't bear to hear anything with an obviously mechanized beat (for lack of a better term, "techno", but i use that term broadly), and most pop. then again, i make exceptions in the "techno" area (e.g. joy electric), but i stand by my "country" statement. yeah, and there are probably a few others i can't stand, too.

point is, why don't we just stop lying to each other?! let me make the first move: i'm not open minded about music, and there's even a few artists that i think should stop making music all together (*cough*christina aguilera*cough*)!

men on film

there may not be that many of you out there who care enough about film to really care about the extras on dvds. some of you just like the better picture or better sound. great...this rant won't make sense to you.

i'm getting tired of the way dvd extras are being produced and the kind of extras that are being produced. in this viewer's opinion, dvd producers, movie studios, et cetera...if you're going to include commentary, it's a good idea to have something like "technical commentary" as a secondary option to "director" or "cast" commentary...so you're doing something right. but how about more cast and less crew on the primary commentaries? and i'm not talking about the 2nd or 3rd supporting roles. i don't care if certain actors are reluctant to do the commentaries...get them done!

also, how about having more than 2 people on the main commentary gathered in the same room...actually interacting with what other people are saying. you want some examples?! fight club, good will hunting, lotr extended editions, these are cast commentaries done right (in case some of you didn't catch it, those are recommendations for you to go out and see those dvds with commentary...they're sometimes funny and often enlightening).

also, one quick last note (yes, i could keep going, but i want many of you to come back for future rants...), "theatrical trailer", "dolby surround", "widescreen", "cast bios"...none of these qualifies as a "special feature" anymore. maybe when dvds were first mass-produced in, like, 1997, these were considered "special", but now they are just standard. if you're making dvds and not including these kinds of things, you're wasting your time and ours.