the solution to all problems except dancing

so i went to see a friend's band play last night. they're not bad. they're a cover band. really, there's 2 people in the band that outshine the others (my friend and the girl singer).

this is the 2nd time i've gone to see them. the first time was at this white trash bar. a lot of older people, drunk out of their minds and acting like idiots. i mean, i already think people look retarded when they dance (most people...well, white people...there i said it!). when they're drinking it's even worse. alcohol seems to have convinced them that moving one arm around and bending their knees in rhythm to the beat is a "hot move".

this bar was a little different. mostly younger people and a lot cleaner. people were dancing when we got there. but something strange happened to me. i felt like i was getting deja vu. i looked around the dance floor and saw the exact same moves i saw at the other bar. then i realized something...alcohol makes all people dance the same way (okay, fine, i really mean all white people).

i want to shout at them, "YOU LOOK RETARDED!" but i'm afraid they'll think it's a compliment. white people every where, i speak to you as one of your kinfolk: don't dance. and if you must dance, do so when you're sober! alcohol does not make you look like the people on soul train.