pudding brains

you wouldn't think customer service is hard, right? it's basically just being nice to people for 8 hours and then you go home. but actually, as far as jobs go, it's more difficult than many realize. you wanna know why customer service is so damn hard? you can put your hands down, i'll tell you.

i realized it on the way home from work today. it's not JUST because of the (sometimes unreasonable) demands and expectations that customers have. it's because you put up with those damn customers' attitudes all day, and manage to stay polite the entire time, but then you also have to GET IN YOUR CAR AND DRIVE HOME! and this activity forces one to encounter all the tremendous pudding brains who somehow have managed to acquire a driver license and were allowed keys to a motor vehicle. these idiots who, one can only assume, based on their driving, can barely manage to scrape together enough effort to keep breathing and blinking constantly have somehow convinced themselves that they can ALSO operate a car in a reasonable way. THEY CAN'T!

this woman today, while driving way below speed limit, apparently got upset that i wasn't driving far away enough from her and she slammed on the brakes of her car for no freaking reason and then looked in her rear view mirror to see my reaction. do yourself and the rest of us a favor, will you? stop f**king driving!! you're an ass and you're only making the rest of our lives unnecessarily difficult. maybe you don't have enough excitement in your life. GO SKY DIVING AND SPARE THE REST OF US YOUR PRESENCE ON THE ROAD!

i could deal with having a customer service job if these jerks who think they have permits to piss me off would stop preventing me from unwinding when i leave my place of work. there's only so much wearing down a person can stomach. unless, of course, i'm free to follow you to your next destination, get out of my car, greet you with a smile and then KICK YOU IN THE HEAD. then, by all means, keep being a jerk.

just watch the f**kin movie!

this has been bothering me for some time. a recent discussion i had at my favorite cigar shop made me decide i should finally get it off my very hairy, but angry, chest.

what's irritating is the reasons that many people state they disliked this or that movie. yes, it's an opinion thing. everybody's entitled to their opinions...blah blah blah...SAVE IT! if that's your only comment, you may as well say it somewhere else because i don't care.

for instance, to use a very recent example, i was talking to someone about shutter island. i saw it recently and LOVED it. but this isn't a movie review. so, the person i was talking to while we were smoking cigars said that the reason he didn't like it is that a very crucial surprise story element became obvious to him the more he thought about certain very subtle clues in the movie. subtle as in there's no way anyone would normally figure this out on their own, and they weren't actually clues because they weren't intentionally there as clues. so, let me get this straight, you thought the movie was bad because you overthought everything and spoiled it for yourself instead of allowing things to be revealed to you??? YOU'RE A JERKASS.

people of PLANET STUPID, when someone writes a movie, or book, or whatever way they have chosen to tell a story, the idea is to let the storyteller do their job. let the story come to you. are you planning to quit watching the movie?! did you start it without having any awareness of your own schedule and have suddenly realized you don't have time to EVER finish it?! i can just imagine how annoyed your parents must have been with you when trying to read you a book as a child, because they couldn't go 1 page without you asking a stupid question or predicting the ending, "i'll bet the cat in the hat did it!"

explaining that you hated a movie because your mental and intellectual weaknesses prevented you from interacting with it in the way intended does not qualify as legitimate film criticism or make a movie "bad". if you say "that movie was bad because they failed to tell a compelling story" or "i hated it because [so-and-so] can't act", fine. i guess i have to accept that. but if you say "yeah, the cast was great, the dialogue was good, but i saw the ending coming, therefore it's a bad movie," i'm just gonna say you're retarded and move on with my day. ok, i may cuss you out...if i'm having a bad day. in fact, if you can't wait for a story to be told while taking in all the elements of it and interacting with them, maybe you should just stop watching movies.

you suck.

f**k canada post

alright, well if you're offended by that title then you'll probably be offended by this entire post. it's possible you won't be reading my blog anymore if that's the case. i guess that's the risk i take.

i'm so f**king tired of CP's bulls**t. our postal carriers are CONSTANTLY making baseless complaints about the state of our walkway. they complain that it's not shoveled good enough. the other day, after having had snow on the weekend i shoveled the walk. sorry, i'm not getting out the bloody ice pick. the walk way was flat, and remaining snow was packed down, and there was no ice.

what does our carrier do??? he walks right up to the f**king house, up the f**king stairs, right up to the f**king mailbox, drops nothing in it, and then walks away. this happens for 2-3 days in a row. then, the other day, a supervisor drives by. he gets out of the truck, walks up to our house with a stack of mail, and tells us that the carrier has written "needs to shovel" on every piece of our mail and has refused to deliver. even though he has been walking RIGHT UP to the mail box, that's where he stops.

hey, carrier, you're an asshat. it's f**king winnipeg in winter. you are a postal delivery person. gets some damn boots and deliver the f**king mail.

Korea Krazy

this just in from the "Committee for the Peaceful Reunification of Korea":

we quit.

PETA Pronouncement

this just in from PETA:

eating meat makes you "boring in bed".

i don't think i need to follow that up with anything.

the dolby drought

here's one for the "WTF WERE THEY THINKING???" list:

it seems as though dolby digital is no longer good enough for people producing blu-ray discs. wtf? first, i bought the incredible hulk and it contained it's english track in DTS alone. with only spanish and french in Dolby 5.1, those without a DTS decoder were forced to listen to the movie in (i'm gonna be sick) simulated surround.

now, after recently ordering firefly (thanks to a huge bonus i will be getting for working through the holidays), i notice that they also found dolby unacceptable. firefly is great...but wtf? dolby...not good enough???

listen jerks. the last time i checked, dolby has recently updated their standard to their "true HD" technology so that it would be worthy of the blu-ray format. so smarten the f*** up and stop leaving dolby out. i'm not buying a new amp. i'm not gonna do it!

stupid studios!

a new breed of spam

yeah, this isn't a rant. just hilarious as far as i'm concerned.

recently i received notifications that comments were made on my blogs. 1 comment on each of the 2 blogs, but on posts i didn't recall.

neither of the comments was particularly insightful and both were written by online personalities i've never heard of. one of them was, "well said". they were both on very old posts. then i clicked on the names of the commenters just to see if they had blogs and, if so, what they were like...

both of them were blogs advertising insurance companies. wtf??? previously, blog comment spam contained ads. full ads for this or that product or site. i suppose they are written in the hope that someone will click on the name and buy some insurance.

is this what passes for stealth nowadays?