The Day the Animals Won

i'm beginning to think that the reality of animals taking over the world is closer than we think. honestly, i will try to write this rant without cursing very much, but it will take every ounce of restraint that i can muster.

so, i was content to think that the dumbest and most useless item made for animals is clothing. you know, considering the fact that they're animals and all. it still makes me mad when i see a chihuahua in a parka, but other than that i can put it out of my mind.

then, my wife informed me that they make *expletive deleted* STROLLERS for dogs!!!!!!!!!!!! *curse word* STROLLERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! if i have to explain why that's wrong, you need to start thinking about whether or not you should be improving your IQ.

yes, but that wasn't the bad news. you know how dogs pretty much have swimming built into their genetic code? i mean, you throw a dog into water, it swims. yeah, well, they have life jackets for dogs now too. there is no string of curse words good enough for me to express my disdain for this product. WE NAMED A HUMAN SWIMMING METHOD AFTER DOGS.

i have to go burn something down now.