Thursday, June 15, 2006

The Day the Animals Won

i'm beginning to think that the reality of animals taking over the world is closer than we think. honestly, i will try to write this rant without cursing very much, but it will take every ounce of restraint that i can muster.

so, i was content to think that the dumbest and most useless item made for animals is clothing. you know, considering the fact that they're animals and all. it still makes me mad when i see a chihuahua in a parka, but other than that i can put it out of my mind.

then, my wife informed me that they make *expletive deleted* STROLLERS for dogs!!!!!!!!!!!! *curse word* STROLLERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! if i have to explain why that's wrong, you need to start thinking about whether or not you should be improving your IQ.

yes, but that wasn't the bad news. you know how dogs pretty much have swimming built into their genetic code? i mean, you throw a dog into water, it swims. yeah, well, they have life jackets for dogs now too. there is no string of curse words good enough for me to express my disdain for this product. WE NAMED A HUMAN SWIMMING METHOD AFTER DOGS.

i have to go burn something down now.

7 Comments:

Blogger Shiny Beamer said...

Oh, how you make me LAUGH!!!!!

I love ya!

Thanks for the might fine belly chuckle!!!

6/16/2006 7:08 PM  
Blogger johnny m said...

yeah, it's pretty funny. or wait...is that sad? right, sad is the word i'm looking for. i sob ever so gently every time i think about this shite! and yes, the "e" at the end of that word was intentional.

6/16/2006 9:27 PM  
Blogger Shiny Beamer said...

"sob ever so gently"...

Hahahahahahahahahaha!!!

You SLAY me!!!

6/17/2006 4:27 PM  
Blogger pxpaulx said...

come on, whats wrong with a

dog

life

jacket......

6/25/2006 10:09 PM  
Blogger Kieran said...

I have to agree wholeheartedly with your complaint. And while we're at it - cats. Why don't they just go and live on their own, since they clearly think they're oh so independent. Arrogant feline freaks!

6/28/2006 8:02 AM  
Blogger johnny m said...

yes, kieran, you bring up a valid point. although you probably don't wanna get me started about cats. the things i'd say would cause the formation of a an actual organization of internet polic and an internet courtroom that would get me 25 to life. so i'll just keep those comments to myself.

6/28/2006 9:02 AM  
Blogger Shiny Beamer said...

Yeah, I'd suggest NOT making comments about cats!

Hi, by the way! Doing well - having great time on holidays. Hope you are well too. Looking forward to seeing you soon.

Love ya!

7/03/2006 10:31 PM  

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