Sunday, January 21, 2007

mmmm...soap

so a while back, the warden buys a new liquid soap for the bathroom. great! i love liquid soap. i thought nothing of it until i noticed what the scent was...

i was washing my hands when i had a sudden craving for a grape popsicle. strange, because popsicles aren't normally an item i find myself yearning for while i'm washing my hands. then i realized that something was causing this phenomenon: soap!

yeah, that's right, the soap was grape scented. wtf?! who the hell makes grape scented soap??? i'm not talking about bar soap, normally even when it's given a delicious sounding scent, it's not that close to what it's supposed to smell like. it still smells generally like soap...or a candle. bottom line is it doesn't smell like something i would want to eat. but this was different. the only thing that stopped me from guzzling the grape soap was the dozen times i had to remind myself that it was soap just to get through washing my hands.

what on earth are people thinking!? soap does not need to smell delicious. it needs to make our hands clean. is there really that much of a demand for soap that doesn't smell like soap? and what is wrong with something that smells like soap? we're not talking air fresheners here people. recently, i even saw a liquid soap at my friend's place that was "black raspberry and vanilla" scented. it smelled like candy. i almost forgot i needed to wash my hands, i wanted to run out and make myself a bowl of ice cream so i could cover it in that stupid soap and have myself a delicious snack!

this is retarded. i want to plead with all the soap making companies, just make it smell like regular soap again. someday i may not be able to stop myself from actually tasting the stuff you're making now. you don't want that on your head!

5 Comments:

Blogger adangomiadonye said...

The story is much better in-person. I highly recommend that you start a live feed for future rants :).

1/21/2007 10:15 PM  
Blogger Shiny Beamer said...

oh that is hilarious!

1/22/2007 4:42 PM  
Blogger johnny m said...

yeah, i kinda knew that relaying the story at a party would take the passion out of it when i was writing.

that's the last time i tell a story i plan on writing about.

1/22/2007 6:25 PM  
Blogger Piston said...

My brother has the same problem with dish detergent. We both went to visit my mother, and her dish liquid smelled like fresh apple juice. It smelled good enough to drink.

1/30/2007 1:21 PM  
Blogger johnny m said...

you see? and i'm pretty sure i don't want my dishes to smell like apple juice. seriously!

2/02/2007 9:47 AM  

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