Sunday, January 13, 2008

i am pissed off

went to go see i am legend tonight. if you actually want to see what i thought of it, feel free to visit my other blog. that's not what this post is about.

this post is about my experience of the theater. the experience surrounding the movie.

first, we'll start in the parking lot. for those who just got out of a coma, it's winter. winter in winnipeg experience. you see, when there's snow on the ground it's hard to see the lines in the parking lot. this leads to some very haphazard "survival of the fittest" type parking. people park wherever and however they want. even if it doesn't make any sense. and they feel they have an excuse because the structure created by parking lines has been temporarily abolished.

well, you see, it's been unseasonably warm in winnipeg recently. that, combined with the usually timely cleaning of major parking lots, makes it a lot easier to see the lines. but, the other thing that winnipeg suffers from, year round, is

major retardation of the majority of drivers!!!

people, when you can see all the lines in the parking lot you no longer have an excuse to park anyway and anywhere you want. idiots. these people were parking well outside of the structure that lines create. unfortunately, this kind of retardation is much like the virus in legend, contagious. below is a dramatization of what completely infuriates me. as you can see, some understand the need for structure in this kind of environment. most do not.

so, because i was already late for the movie i had to ignore exactly how much this pissed me off. then i get in and, for some reason, it's unreasonably busy. so i take one of the "self serve" ticket stations. then a guy says to me, "hey, the line starts back there." so, again, not wanting to start something that would make me later, i went. however, here's the situation... there's 5 ticket stations and, from my point of view, 5 lines. 4 long lines and one very short one. what the morons ended up doing was forming one very long line for 2 stations and then the next person in the long line would alternate to which ever station opened up first. more retardation. if only the assholes in line would realize that things would go quicker if the lines formed at each station i would not have missed the beginning of my movie!!!

finally, there's the end of the movie. if you read my review of the movie you'll know why i wanted to sit and take it in during the credits. but, of course, lemmings that they are, almost everyone in the theater began f***ing running out as soon as they saw the words on the screen that meant the credits were running. a few of them had the balls to give me a prolonged, quizzical look as they departed. HEY!!! Not everyone bolts for the door as soon as the entertainment stops. Some of us are actually seeing the movie to try and understand what the artist(s) are trying to say.

this rant is my legacy. my point of view is my legend. (you'll understand that last part more when you see the end of the movie)


Blogger IndieFaith said...

Nice illustration. Looks like something I would see in the WAG.

1/13/2008 8:11 AM  
Blogger johnny m said...

what can i say? i put about as much thought into is as the majority of people in winnipeg put into their driving.

1/13/2008 11:51 AM  
Blogger pxpaulx said...

I share your contempt for such abstract madness, and hope that i'd be one of the 3 sane people in your diagram :) The winters here definitely aren't the same as in winnipeg. well, it looks the same except minus the triple coldness and plugs everywhere, which i know i don't miss!

1/16/2008 8:16 PM  

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