the mosquito problem
it's no secret that, the world over, winnipeg in famous for 2 things: cold and mosquitos. mind you, the two are mutually exclusive, so all year round we only have one thing or the other. fact is, if we ever had both (and theories of evolution suggest that we soon should), the province would implode and we'd all get sucked into a giant black hole. but i digress...
right now, it's summer. now, unlike most people, i hate summer. hate it. i could not possibly hate summer here more. but it's not just the heat. back yards are breeding grounds for some of the foulest, most carnivorous creatures ever invented (yes, i know that means "meat eaters"...you tell me that mosquitos aren't carnivorous with the huge chunks of flesh missing from my limbs at the end of every summer).
and it's always worse than you ever remember, this year in particular. you see, the city of winnipeg normally treats its citizens to rounds and rounds of anti-mosquito fogging. but this year, winnipeg's summer has been somewhat cooler, mainly at night (believe me, i couldn't be happier about that part). but this also means that city workers stopped fogging the city shortly before they arrived in my community!
they started fogging because it was getting hot, but then stopped because it was unnecessary to fog when the nights are so cool. believe you me, i think i actually heard a chorus of mosquito
cackling when they heard about this. they have actually formed unions because their numbers are so strong. and don't try the weaker repellant...oh no! they've developed a taste for it. some of them have actually evolved to the point where they carry knives and forks so as to more efficiently carve me up.
this just in: the minimum required amount of mosquitos that needed to be found in traps, before the city would begin fogging again, was 25. the "bug department" reported today that the most recent count was 135!
excuse me honey...i'm going to fill the bath tub with the strongest repellant i can find...and then i'm doing laps!!!